Everyone’s got flaws. I know, you’re shocked. You thought you were little miss/mister perfect. Sorry to say, but it just ain’t so. There are things about all of us that aren’t so pleasant.
It seems like no one really cares to talk about their flaws, much less formulate them into a blog post available for the whole interweb world to see. I don’t see what the big deal is, though. Hence this here post.
I’m not an uptight person. I think flaws can be pretty funny. I had some good laughs thinking about mine. I thought, “Well gee, maybe other people would get a few chuckles by reading about my unfavorable qualities.”
So, here we are. My 15 worst qualities.
1. I snore like a congested donkey. Or so I’ve been told.
2. I grind my teeth. It’s quite a nasty habit. I actually just chipped one of my front teeth because of it. You can imagine my frustration. I’m still grinding away, though.
3. I tend to start things and never finish them. Yep, I’m one of those guys.
4. I have disgusting looking toes. I dunno what happened, but my toes look like rows of poorly cooked mini-hotdogs
5. I judge people for having disgusting looking toes.
6. Sometimes I’m a hypocrite.
7. I think that every downtrodden movie character is based on me. It usually takes me a half hour or so to realize that whoever wrote the movie has absolutely no clue that I even exist.
8. I enjoy an occasional cigarette. Emphasis on the word occasional. I know, it’s still yucky.
9. I have a horrible temper. I once smashed a raquetball raquet after I lost a game to one of my friends. The game couldn’t have been more meaningless, but the defeat upset me greatly.
10. I talk super fast when I’m nervous. SometimesIjustcan’thelpitwhenI’mgivingapresentationIjustneedtogeteverythingoutsuperfastbutthenitjumblesintowhatseemslikeonereallybigword.
11. I’m an impulse buyer. I’ve wasted hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on crap that I don’t even use anymore.
12. I can be anti-social. Sometimes I need to go for lengthy periods of time without speaking to anyone. And if someone talks to me I act as if they just spat in my face and kicked me in the shin.
13. I have an attention span the size of a dust particle. I’ve just committed myself to working on things in fifteen minute increments. I know that’s about how long it’ll take for me to want to mess with something else.
14. I can be mind-bogglingly irresponsible. I’m very responsible 99% of the time, but sometimes I amaze myself. Like the one time that I lost my passport card the day I was supposed to leave the country. Or when I lost my debit card. Three times.
15. I laugh at really inappropriate times. Like when someone trips up the stairs, or when someone spills coffee on their white dress shirt. You probably think I’m a horrible person, but don’t pretend like you haven’t laughed before.
There you have it. My 15 worst qualities. I hope you were entertained. If you weren’t, well, I might have another flaw to add to the list.
As per usual, I’m interested to hear what you all have to say. Would you be courageous enough to share with me some of your not so sunshiny qualities? It doesn’t have to be something big. Maybe something small that you think is kind of humorous.
The individual who shares the funniest flaw will receive my extensive collection of broken drumsticks! So share away. You could be the lucky winner.
Go. Run free. Enjoy the rest of this fine, flaw-filled day.